Working Mum Or A Stay At Home Mum?

Let me start off by saying I admire all mums, whether you’re working full time or are a stay at home mum. You all rock! It’s a hard decision to make as whatever you decide will affect your family greatly. It’s important to really think about what will work best for you. For us, it wouldn’t have worked if I went back to my job, so we decided that I was going to be a stay at home Mum.

Laptop On Table: Working Mum or Stay at Home Mum

My husband, Nathan, and I talked a lot about what we were going to do. Our son, Oliver, was a (happy) surprise for us, so we didn’t have anything prepared. The decision for us was either I go back to work and we find childcare for Oliver, or I quit my job and I take care of him, which obviously meant losing out on my salary a month.

Money Issues

The biggest thing that would have been affected is our salaries. As I previously mentioned, either way we’d be losing out on money, whether that be on childcare or because I wouldn’t be working. For anyone who doesn’t know, childcare in our area is expensive. Like, REALLY expensive. If I was to pay for childcare each month a huge chunk of my salary would all ready be taken. Adding to that, travelling to my job each day would have taken a lump out of my salary too. We worked out we wouldn’t be able to afford me going back to my previous job. We would have lost money. So that wasn’t an option for us.

Being With Oliver

My plans were always for me to look after Oliver myself. I didn’t want to have to arrange childcare so someone else could look after him whilst I went to work. I wanted to be able to be there for him throughout the day and help him learn and grow.Β That’s just my preference. Β If you didn’t know already I have quite bad anxiety and I think those anxieties would have made me struggle if I had to leave him each day. In no way do I look down at mums who go to work each day, I admire them! I think they’re so strong to be able to be a full time mother AND have a full time job. I just wouldn’t be able to handle it!

Location

The house we lived in at the time was only a one bedroom house, and we preferably wanted two bedrooms. We also wanted to live closer to family. At the time we lived about 30 minutes down the road from our parents and we wanted to close that gap whilst Oliver was young (we now live an hour away from them so that didn’t last long!). We decided to move back to our home town which meant it took me about 45 minutes in rush hour to get to my job. I didn’t really want to be that far away from our house in case anything happened to Oliver. Again, that may be because of my anxiety.

 

After taking in all of these factors and a few little extra things, we decided it was best if I stayed at home with Oliver. What’s important is that YOU make the decision. We had a couple of bad responses when we mentioned I’d be staying at home. As long as you have looked into your options and you know whats right, you do what you want. Honestly, it kind of made me angry hearing people telling me I was doing the wrong thing. Why should anyone tell you how to raise your child? If you want to be a stay at home Mum, that’s great. If you want to be a working mum, good for you! As long as you’re happy with your decision and your child is healthy, I don’t see how you can be doing anything wrong. Don’t let anyone else affect your decision.

I hate that there is so much shaming to do with this topic between mums. At the end of the day we’re all parents trying to do the best for our children. We know what’s right and what will work for us. We should be supporting each other in our decisions!

Are you a stay at home mum or did you go back to your job? What helped you decide? I’d love to know your thoughts!

Sarah

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22 Comments

  1. 12/08/2017 / 1:22 pm

    I think all mom’s working or stay at home are absolutely amazing! Great post!

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:27 pm

      Thank you! Yes all mums are absolutely amazing, no matter what they decide πŸ™‚

  2. 12/08/2017 / 1:47 pm

    I’m not a mother but I fully support stay at home moms! Childcare is ridiculously expensive! Why bother going to work all day away from your child just to spend your entire check on daycare. Might as well spend that time raising your child and having that time to spend with him! If I were to ever have a kid, I would like to be a stay at home mom for sure!

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:28 pm

      Exactly why I decided to be a stay at home mum πŸ™‚

  3. 12/08/2017 / 11:08 pm

    I definitely support stay at home mums! Love this post! X

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:28 pm

      Thank you!! πŸ™‚

  4. 13/08/2017 / 11:59 am

    I funny support both stay at home and working mams. It’s whatever is best for you and baby is all that matters ☺️

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:29 pm

      Absolutely! As long as both baby and parents are happy I support both stay at home and working mums πŸ™‚

  5. 13/08/2017 / 5:56 pm

    I support stay at home and working moms. The only thing that matters is you and the baby.

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:29 pm

      Absolutely! πŸ™‚

  6. 14/08/2017 / 5:38 am

    My mom was/is stay-at-home, although she does lots of volunteering with our schools…I’m really appreciative she gave it up for us, but like working it comes with its benefits and challenges. As long as you make your own decision and are autonomous, it should be okay!

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:30 pm

      Absolutely. As long as the whole family is happy and healthy, that’s what is most important. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks πŸ™‚

  7. 14/08/2017 / 8:29 am

    You’re right that you need to make the best decision for your family – there is no right or wrong answer

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:31 pm

      Definitely. As long as your family is happy and healthy that’s all that matters! πŸ™‚

  8. 14/08/2017 / 10:14 am

    I am a stay at home mum, my partner earns enough for me to remain at home (for now) and look after the house and children, I have a little bit of social anxiety so not seeing people daily works for me just fine! I do plan on returning to work once my children are all grown up and at school. but for me its important that im at home PLUS bloody preschool is so expensive! once my youngest is in full time education, im off to work!

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:32 pm

      Same with me about the anxiety!! I love being able to stay at home on the bad days. πŸ™‚

  9. 15/08/2017 / 9:58 am

    The cost of childcare is insane! I have a number of friends who have said the main reason they didn’t return to work is because they would be losing money on it!

    Britt | britt@alternativelyspeaking.ca

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:33 pm

      It’s terrible! I had no idea it would be that expensive!

  10. 16/08/2017 / 8:05 pm

    It’s hard, it seems to be a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t with parenting! There is no right or wrong answer, you do what is best for you and your family. I’m really lucky in that my editor is extremely flexible with me, and I work from home most of the time. After a bit of a nightmare nanny experience, we’ve got Dougie a place at a nursery, but because of the cost and my salary, it doesn’t make financial sense for him to be at nursery more than two days a week. Luckily they’re very kindly letting us split the days into four half days, so as of September, Dougie will go to nursery Mon-Thurs mornings and I’ll go into the office, then look after him in the afternoon, and I have wangled Fridays off, it’s not ideal and it’ll mean cramming a full days worth of work into a morning, or doing extra in the evenings once D is in bed, but as you say, the cost of childcare is insane, but we can’t afford the mortgage etc on just Sam’s income!
    Hels xx

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:37 pm

      That’s so true. Parents never seem to do everything right do we?! It’s so good hearing that your editor is flexible with you.. Full time childcare is so expensive. I guess it may be the same with you but full time childcare cost more than our actual mortgage… It’s mental!

  11. 17/08/2017 / 9:21 pm

    I feel like this debate is so over done and I’m not even a mum :’) You’d think in 2017 everyone would be happy so long as the baby was well looked after, the mum was fulfilled, the family was happy wouldn’t you? Some people HAVE to go back to work financially, some people want to, some Dads stay home and the Mums go to work, some people want to be at home with the kids…. surely it’s up to each individual circumstance? Baffling baffling

    • Sarah Pears
      18/08/2017 / 7:41 pm

      Oh my god tell me about it!! :’) It’s important to do what YOU want to do and what keeps your family healthy and happy! But you always get the group of ‘Mum Police’ to tell you you’re doing EVERYTHING wrong… Mannn I could rant on about this for days :’D

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