Let me start off by saying I admire all mums, whether you’re working full time or are a stay at home mum. You all rock! It’s a hard decision to make as whatever you decide will affect your family greatly. It’s important to really think about what will work best for you. For us, it wouldn’t have worked if I went back to my job, so we decided that I was going to be a stay at home Mum.
My husband, Nathan, and I talked a lot about what we were going to do. Our son, Oliver, was a (happy) surprise for us, so we didn’t have anything prepared. The decision for us was either I go back to work and we find childcare for Oliver, or I quit my job and I take care of him, which obviously meant losing out on my salary a month.
The biggest thing that would have been affected is our salaries. As I previously mentioned, either way we’d be losing out on money, whether that be on childcare or because I wouldn’t be working. For anyone who doesn’t know, childcare in our area is expensive. Like, REALLY expensive. If I was to pay for childcare each month a huge chunk of my salary would all ready be taken. Adding to that, travelling to my job each day would have taken a lump out of my salary too. We worked out we wouldn’t be able to afford me going back to my previous job. We would have lost money. So that wasn’t an option for us.
Being With Oliver
My plans were always for me to look after Oliver myself. I didn’t want to have to arrange childcare so someone else could look after him whilst I went to work. I wanted to be able to be there for him throughout the day and help him learn and grow. That’s just my preference. If you didn’t know already I have quite bad anxiety and I think those anxieties would have made me struggle if I had to leave him each day. In no way do I look down at mums who go to work each day, I admire them! I think they’re so strong to be able to be a full time mother AND have a full time job. I just wouldn’t be able to handle it!
The house we lived in at the time was only a one bedroom house, and we preferably wanted two bedrooms. We also wanted to live closer to family. At the time we lived about 30 minutes down the road from our parents and we wanted to close that gap whilst Oliver was young (we now live an hour away from them so that didn’t last long!). We decided to move back to our home town which meant it took me about 45 minutes in rush hour to get to my job. I didn’t really want to be that far away from our house in case anything happened to Oliver. Again, that may be because of my anxiety.
After taking in all of these factors and a few little extra things, we decided it was best if I stayed at home with Oliver. What’s important is that YOU make the decision. We had a couple of bad responses when we mentioned I’d be staying at home. As long as you have looked into your options and you know whats right, you do what you want. Honestly, it kind of made me angry hearing people telling me I was doing the wrong thing. Why should anyone tell you how to raise your child? If you want to be a stay at home Mum, that’s great. If you want to be a working mum, good for you! As long as you’re happy with your decision and your child is healthy, I don’t see how you can be doing anything wrong. Don’t let anyone else affect your decision.
I hate that there is so much shaming to do with this topic between mums. At the end of the day we’re all parents trying to do the best for our children. We know what’s right and what will work for us. We should be supporting each other in our decisions!
Are you a stay at home mum or did you go back to your job? What helped you decide? I’d love to know your thoughts!