This post will no doubt be a page full of my rambles, but it’s a subject I feel very strongly about, so bare with me!
My husband and I have recently spoken about our dreams; what we want to do with our lives and how we want to live it. We both want very similar things, but we’ve both got dreams we’d love to achieve and we aren’t doing anything towards them. This upset me quite a bit. The things we both want to get out of life are things we’re both very passionate about, so what’s getting in our way? Dedication? Motivation? Confidence? Laziness? These are all reasons why I feel we aren’t aiming towards our dreams in life, and I really want to do something about it.
As a woman suffering with depression and anxiety I often think about my life and where its going. I want to enjoy what career path I’ve taken and the choices I made in my life but I can’t. I in no way mean this about my husband and son. They mean the world to me. I just want to clear that up. I mean with my career and hobbies etc. I regret not going to university. I regret not doing the GCSE’s and A Levels I wanted to do. I regret not trying harder to get into something I enjoy. Thinking back at when I was still in school choosing my options I was scared of rejection. I was scared I wouldn’t be good enough to do what I wanted to do so I chose subjects that really didn’t suit me. This made me feel like I wasn’t good enough so I took a very basic route in life. Because of this I had no experience in anything specific and I worked in retail for a very long time. There is nothing wrong with working in retail. In fact, I think everyone should work in retail once in their lives, as some people’s manners towards shop workers are disgusting, so everyone should experience it. Hopefully those rude people might change. The job just didn’t suit me.
Staying in retail for so long in jobs that weren’t my cup of tea was draining. Every day I would dream about having a different career that I found fun and exciting, but the question I would always ask myself was ‘It’s too late now so how are you going to get into that career?’. For years this has run through my head, but only recently I’ve thought to myself; No, it’s not too late. If you’re passionate about something, no matter how old you are, go for it. I could write a long list of things I am passionate about which it isn’t too late to work on, so I think I will. Here’s my list;
I could go on.
I’m not sure whether I’m having some sort of an epiphany or whether my depression is settling down a bit, but I feel so strongly about how everyone should enjoy their life. If at any point when reading this post you’ve thought to yourself; ‘I’m not happy with *this* part of my life’, well I encourage you to do something about it, however big or small it may be. I want you to write in the comments below what you want out of your life which you haven’t got right now. Here’s what I want to do;
I want to go to university to study Computer Gaming. I want to continue blogging and some day start a YouTube channel. I want to create character makeup looks and post them online for fun. I want to get more tattoos and loose weight to be more body confident. I, one day, want a career in game design or blogging.
There is quite a few, but they aren’t impossible. I just need the confidence and motivation to do so, so I’m going set myself targets to hit. At the moment I am applying for university to study Computer Gaming and I could not be more excited! Next I aim to carry on blogging and improve my makeup skills. By my sons birthday next year I want to be 5 stone lighter and confident in my body. I am so determined to make these happen. I want to enjoy my life!
Push towards what you want to do. If you need help, search for it, even message me if you’re really stuck (You never know, I might be some sort of help! *Winking Face*)! What I’m trying to say in a really badly written blog post is: Live your life to the max. Do what makes you happy. If you’re not happy, change it. You deserve to be happy with your life.
Thanks for reading my nighttime rambles. I hope this post helps someone somehow.